Urgent News Update: Over 230 reported CyberFlu cases worldwide

Seattle - 47 reported cases
Boston - 15 reported cases
New York -51 reported cases
London - 38 reported cases
Please Read...

The National Center for Virus Control has issued a Threat Level 5 warning about a new internet virus that can be transmitted from computers to humans, resulting in flu-like symptoms. Unlike traditional viruses that are spread by email or software downloads, this "CyberFlu" virus is transmitted to your PC when you browse a web page infected with the virus. The good news is that the CyberFlu virus will not harm your computer and no data will be lost. Your PC just acts as a carrier. But, under certain circumstances, the virus can be transferred from your PC to your body through contact. At risk areas on your computer include disk drives, CDROM drives, USB ports (used by memory sticks, music players, etc.) so do not come in contact with these devices. You can not get the virus just by using your keyboard or mouse, but it can be passed to you or your computer from other peoples' disks/CDROMs.

People with weakened immune systems, pre-existing medical conditions, kids, and the elderly are especially susceptible to the virus. Flu vaccinations do not protect against this new strain, although researchers are working on creating a new vaccine for it. Symptoms include: fever, chills, headaches, weakness, tiredness, itching, muscle aches, loss of appetite, bloody nose, blurry vision, drooling, seizures, coughing, stretch marks, sore throat, toenail fungus, stuttering, and diarrhea. If you think you are infected, please contact your doctor. Eating chocolate and other cocoa based products (like coffee, Cocoa Puffs, chocolate milk, etc.) has been reported to make the symptoms worse. The CyberFlu can be treated with prescription medication and has no long term effects, but early treatment will lessen the severity of the infection.

The CyberFlu has a similar epidemiology to recent outbreaks of the Bird Flu (H5N1 virus) is Asia, which has caused several human deaths of people that came into contact with infected birds. In the last 2 years more than 100 million birds either died from the disease or were killed in order to try to control the outbreak. The Bird Flu is a variation of the Spanish Flu of 1918 that spread from birds to humans, killing over 20 million people worldwide.

The jump from computer virus to human virus is accomplished using new technology that combines theories of quantum physics, genetic engineering, nanotechnology, and biological computing. On an infected website, the CyberFlu virus attaches itself to the electrical particles that make up the site. When the website is viewed in your browser, a copy of it is downloaded to your computer and put into temporary memory, just like with any other website. Normally this copy is deleted after a few days, but after an infected website is viewed, the virus stays in your computer even after the temporary data that it came with is erased. Your computer does not recognize the virus particles, so it does not erase them. These virus particles, which are still in data form at this point, are then transformed into a biological virus in a way similar to how music data is transformed into sound (through your speakers) and video data is transformed into images (on your monitor). Once coverted to a human virus, it multiplies and spreads inside your computer.

Standard antivirus computer programs like Norton Antivirus and McAfee do not detect the CyberFlu virus because it does not act like a normal PC virus. Instead of attacking files on your computer, which is something can be easily detected by antivirus programs, the CyberFlu virus stays dormant inside your computer waiting to be released into the environment. But, it can be eradicated from your computer using a free CyberFlu removal program. This program redirects a small amount of power from your monitor and uses this energy to periodically release small electrical impulses inside your computer at a special wavelength that kills the virus. Since there is no way to detect if your computer is harboring the virus, all PC users should run the removal program to make sure their computer is virus free

For a list of free CyberFlu removal programs that you can download, Click Here

Below are before/after example images from the inside an infected computer:
Healthy PC
Infected PC

For more information about the CyberFlu, visit these sites:
The Worldwide CyberFlu Support Group - A federally funded support organization providing counseling and support for those infected with the virus.
The CyberFlu Chat Forum - Talk with others about CyberFlu prevention and treatment.
The National Center for Virus Control - Read the latest updates on the virus from this leading government research facility.
The CyberFlu Prevention Kit - Buy this $49.95 do-it-yourself prevention kit to protect you and your family.
The Cyberflu Website Blacklist - A daily updated list of sites that are known to be infected with the CyberFlu virus. Do not visit these sites unless your PC is running the Cyberflu antivirus program.

References and Footnotes: Most of the information on this site is totally made up. There is no such thing as the CyberFlu virus and there are no virusus that you can catch from your computer. You have been pranked!