The National Center for Virus Control has issued a Threat Level
5 warning about a new internet virus that can be transmitted from
computers to humans, resulting in flu-like symptoms. Unlike traditional
viruses that are spread by email or software downloads, this "CyberFlu"
virus is transmitted to your PC when you browse a web page infected
with the virus. The good news is that the CyberFlu virus will not
harm your computer and no data will be lost. Your PC just acts as
a carrier. But, under certain circumstances, the virus can be transferred
from your PC to your body through contact. At risk areas on your
computer include disk drives, CDROM drives, USB ports (used by memory
sticks, music players, etc.) so do not come in contact with these
devices. You can not get the virus just by using your keyboard or
mouse, but it can be passed to you or your computer from other peoples'
People with weakened immune systems, pre-existing medical conditions,
kids, and the elderly are especially susceptible to the virus. Flu
vaccinations do not protect against this new strain, although researchers
are working on creating a new vaccine for it. Symptoms include:
fever, chills, headaches, weakness, tiredness, itching, muscle aches,
loss of appetite, bloody nose, blurry vision, drooling, seizures,
coughing, stretch marks, sore throat, toenail fungus, stuttering,
and diarrhea. If you think you are infected, please contact your
doctor. Eating chocolate and other cocoa based products (like coffee,
Cocoa Puffs, chocolate milk, etc.) has been reported to make the
symptoms worse. The CyberFlu can be treated with prescription medication
and has no long term effects, but early treatment will lessen the
severity of the infection.
CyberFlu has a similar epidemiology to recent outbreaks of the Bird
Flu (H5N1 virus) is Asia, which has caused several human deaths
of people that came into contact with infected birds. In the last
2 years more than 100 million birds either died from the disease
or were killed in order to try to control the outbreak. The Bird
Flu is a variation of the Spanish Flu of 1918 that spread from birds
to humans, killing over 20 million people worldwide.
The jump from computer virus to human virus is accomplished
using new technology that combines theories of quantum physics,
genetic engineering, nanotechnology, and biological computing. On
an infected website, the CyberFlu virus attaches itself to the electrical
particles that make up the site. When the website is viewed in your
browser, a copy of it is downloaded to your computer and put into
temporary memory, just like with any other website. Normally this
copy is deleted after a few days, but after an infected website
is viewed, the virus stays in your computer even after the temporary
data that it came with is erased. Your computer does not recognize
the virus particles, so it does not erase them. These virus particles,
which are still in data form at this point, are then transformed
into a biological virus in a way similar to how music data is transformed
into sound (through your speakers) and video data is transformed
into images (on your monitor). Once coverted to a human virus, it
multiplies and spreads inside your computer.
antivirus computer programs like Norton Antivirus and McAfee do
not detect the CyberFlu virus because it does not act like a normal
PC virus. Instead of attacking files on your computer, which is
something can be easily detected by antivirus programs, the CyberFlu
virus stays dormant inside your computer waiting to be released
into the environment. But, it can be eradicated from your computer
using a free CyberFlu removal program. This program redirects a
small amount of power from your monitor and uses this energy to
periodically release small electrical impulses inside your computer
at a special wavelength that kills the virus. Since there is no
way to detect if your computer is harboring the virus, all PC users
should run the removal program to make sure their computer is virus
For a list
of free CyberFlu removal programs that you can download, Click
Below are before/after example images from the inside an infected computer:
For more information about the CyberFlu, visit these sites:
The Worldwide CyberFlu Support
Group - A federally funded support organization providing counseling
and support for those infected with the virus.
The CyberFlu Chat Forum
- Talk with others about CyberFlu prevention and treatment.
The National Center for Virus
Control - Read the latest updates on the virus from this leading
government research facility.
The CyberFlu Prevention Kit
- Buy this $49.95 do-it-yourself prevention kit to protect you and your
The Cyberflu Website Blacklist
- A daily updated list of sites that are known to be infected with the
CyberFlu virus. Do not visit these sites unless your PC is running the
Cyberflu antivirus program.
and Footnotes: Most of the information on this site is totally
made up. There is no such thing as the CyberFlu virus and there are no
virusus that you can catch from your computer. You have been pranked!